Why do this?
If you are feeling stuck in your present situation, if you feel that a past hurt defines you as a person, no matter how much you resent being a victim, this practice is for you.
The best way to practice this is regularly, perhaps every day or several times a week. Initially, the steps will be difficult to work through, but that’s okay. Just get up to as many as you can and then come back to it another time. The practice takes between five and 20 minutes. DO NOT STRAIN YOURSELF. This is a gentle healing practice, there is no need to approach it like you are mining a coal seam.
- Sit in a comfortable position, one you can hold for about 20 minutes. Make sure you will not be disturbed and that there is no music playing or TV in the room. For this to work, you need to be in stillness, silence and solitude.
- Imagine you can see the person or situation that causes you pain. Put your hands together in the prayer position and bow to the person, they are your teacher.
- Imagine the person that causes you pain quietly sitting somewhere on their own. Imagine them feeling happy and at peace. Imagine someone coming to see them and giving them a present. Imagine them accepting it with gratitude and joy.
- Now, because no-one is watching and no-one will ever know about this, you can feel free to send them good-will. This might be painful, but you can build up to this over several sessions.
- If the person is a relative, or a former friend, send them love. Remember, you never need tell anyone about this so just let yourself go. Feel the love pour out of you as a continuous flow. Be sure that this is not clingy love, just generous loving good-will.
- Now you have built up a head of goodwill and positive feeling for that person, even if it is yourself, you can move on to forgiving them in the same way. It might be difficult at first, you might feel a huge resistance to this. Perhaps your forgiveness will be a tiny trickle at first. Don’t worry, over several tries you can build up to a decent flow.
- When you have been doing this practice for a while over several sessions, you might want to visualising shaking hands with the person, or giving them a hug.
- Now bask in the feeling of warmth and openness you have created. Allow yourself to come out of the meditative state slowly.
Eventually, you will come to a state of knowing that there is no longer any need to forgive.
Also, when you first begin this practice, there might be some physical benefit that you experience in your life, you might win a prize or find something you have been looking for.
The idea for this practice came from reading Pam Grout’s book E Squared.
Please share this page with everyone you know who experiences trouble with letting go, and feel free to get in touch and let me know how it worked for you.